For those who are curious with my life...

Stakes are raised, stakes are higher

2011-02-18T03:33:00.003+10:00

As you progress, stakes are higher, responsibilities are greater. How will you overcome them?

Moving into my new job, i know i will perform well. I know i will excel.
Still there are fears..
Fear of pissing off boss. Fears of upsetting boss. Fears of unable to build good bond.
Well, all i could say is..
Im sure i'll do a good job.
I hope once again, i'll make us good friends.. Even better than before..
Hope to make your life and my life a better one ahead...

Cheers boss, thanks a lot for hiring me.

Really appreciate it. Thanks a lot.

Decisions... Decisions...

2010-11-26T02:19:00.002+10:00

How do you know which decision is the right one?

How do you know which decision is the wrong one?

Not sure if to grab her hand and walk along...

This is it

2010-10-08T04:19:00.001+10:00

Choice made.
Decision made.

No turning back.
Move forward and forward and head forward.

No regrets.

I'm smiling. I'm happy. I'm satisfied. I'm contented.

I hope you are delightful.

I miss you lots. I love you lots.

Hope to see you soon.

You are the one.

This is it.

Pathetic...

2010-10-04T05:27:00.002+10:00

Finally it's October...

Receive a one month bonus to buy ring & band..

Not a requirement but hope to see her smile, laugh, flourish with golden shine face.

That's it.

After ring & band... Left with nothing...

Penniless...

Sigh.. I so want to jump off the building...

This is pathetic.

Another memorable day

2010-09-17T03:26:00.001+10:00

Today I see you.. Today you saw me...

11-37
I love you

Next time perhaps...

743

685 260

16 september 2010

I will remember you
Muackz

So this is what it is all about...

2010-09-14T02:09:00.002+10:00

To please everyone else except yourself.
Is this the fate and life of a man?

To do everything else for anybody else.
Is this the true fate and ending for becoming a man?

Is it true that living a life is difficult?

Is it true that you must endure a lot to be success?

Is it true that happiness is unachieveable?

How do you define happiness?

What determine happiness?

There are times you feel contented, there are times you don't. You want more.
Is it true that it is suppose to be very complex?

Why don't you help me out by posting few comments...

How, Why, When, What, Who, make life to be simple...

31 July 2010

2010-08-01T02:40:00.002+10:00

31 July 2010.

The day to remember... Double Happiness.

Today I saw you...

You are the best, most wonderful gift to me for my birthday. Thank you very much.

Thanks :)

You will at least stick with me for 5 years. Thank you for coming into my life. I love you. Thank you.

Crazy..

2010-07-12T23:30:00.000+10:00

Friday on leave. Monday on leave.
Result?
843 unread emails!!!

Crazy

2010-06-03T23:39:00.000+10:00

1.5 days of unattended outlook.

Result = 332 unread emails.

So tired...

2010-03-17T14:19:00.002+10:00

When you work more than 12hours a day, Wednesday feels like a Friday.
I'm exhausted. I'm tired.

I'm sick and tired of telling people what you need to do, how you should do it.
I'm sick and tired of answering questions.
I'm sick and tired of helping you to make a decision.
You go make the decision yourself, and tell me what you have decided.

Bugger off.

This is my final warning to you...

2010-03-16T03:52:00.002+10:00

Don't f***king give or show me attitude.
I do not f***king owe you any money.
I do not owe you any single shit of my life.

If you are unhappy, go f***king quit.

Despite being in difficult time, you still want to show people attitude?

Every day you have not failed to make me want to slap you. Good job and well done.

Shouldn't you be more appreciative and respect people?

Don't force me to put a "R" to your name.

5 days to Ignore Msoft Outlook

2010-03-15T04:21:00.001+10:00

I received...

623 Emails!

That's average of 124 per day!

OMG...

Going to take 4 or more hours to clear them....

Sob Sob...

Sigh...

2010-03-09T19:42:00.001+10:00

With blogs becoming so sensitive nowadays... There is no where else to share and reveal everything...

Topping up EZ Link card to over $100
Topping up Swimming Complex card to sustain for 3 months of swimming...
Topping up golf range card to sustain at least 10 session of golf...
Topping up a lot of things to sustain at least 3 months without income...

Preparing for the worst...
Preparing for the next round of....

Big
S.I.G.H.

Excellent Night

2010-03-07T06:59:00.004+10:00

Happy. Very happy.

Small wedding dinner.
Cosy, comfortable, romantic, relax, chill, laughters, lots of happy moments.
Good food. Super full.

Super happy.

Whenever I attend wedding dinners, I will have two outcomes from it.
Super good
Waste of time

Tonight was super good.

Not even me or us, friends, relatives, family members, even the couples enjoyed it so much.

You could tell from their expressions.

All their time, efforts and hardwork paid off.

It's 1 more excellent dinner, 1 more fantastic night to add on into my diary, worth to remember, it's an achieving experience.

Good stuff worth to share to my audience...

2010-03-07T06:59:00.001+10:00

Back when I was a child
before life removed all the innocence
my father would lift me high
and dance with my mother and me and then
spin me around til I fell asleep
then up the stairs he would carry me
and I new for sure, I was loved

If I could get
another chance
another walk
another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
how I'd love love love
to dance with my father again

oooo when I and my mother would disagree
to get my way I would run from her to him
he'd make me laugh just to comfort me yeah yeah
then finally make me do just what my momma said
later that night when I was asleep
he left a dollar under my sheet
never dreamed that he would be gone from me

If I could steal one final glance,
one final step
one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
cause I'd love, love, love, to dance with my father again

sometimes I'd listen outside her door
and I hear how my mother cried for him
I'd pray for her even more than me
I'd pray for her even more than me

I know I'm praying
for much to much
but could you send back
the only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
but dear lord she's dyin
to dance with my father again

every night I fall asleep
and this is all I ever dream

Been a while...

2010-03-05T04:49:00.002+10:00

It's been a while since I last update you...

Thanks for re-visiting to read... It's purely nothing but nonsense and yet you are supporting... Beats me why?

Anyway...

I am finally on my new laptop with 6 .pst files :)
This does crash my laptop less often. :)
I'm slightly happier... hahahaha

Oh Oh.. I won't be updating you as frequent because I am busy...

Here's something for you and us and everybody

We will open the book. It's pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves.
The book is called Opportunity and it's first chapter is New 2010 Year.
Don't stop writing in your book. I believe that you can.
Have a wonderful New 2010 Year.

Told you, it will be damn good new 2010 year. Is it for you?
It is for me...

Thanks to everybody :)

Hiring HDD Secretary

2010-02-23T16:37:00.002+10:00

I have 4 laptops + 1 desktop + 2 Ext HDD + 1 Desktop Ext HDD in total.
That is terabytes of information to remember.

It's shit. It's argh.

Suck up all my brain cells.

I need to hire a HDD Secretary.

Happy CNY 2010

2010-02-18T03:52:00.002+10:00

This will be damn good year for me because I believe it will be!

In fact, I am so going to believe 201...... will be faabulous for me...

There will be lots and lots of things to do...

Here's a big Thank you to 'You'.
You know who you are.
You know what/why I thank you for.
You know everything...
You know a lot...
You know more than anybody else...
Keep up the good work! You will achieve it one day :)

Happy CNY to you all, you have been reading my blog and I do not know who the hell you are... Anyway, thanks for reading!

It's nothing fantastic but just daily craps from me... Yet you still read! Good job!

Today is my 1st day of leave, I have received 135 unread emails...
Let's see how many more to come in...

Two updates

2010-02-11T01:52:00.003+10:00

I was telling my mum... I no longer have anymore feelings about my ex...
She told me...
She was so worried about me... about me and my ex..
after all we've been together for 4 years...
She was worried I'll do silly things! lol

Yesterday I had a chat with my security guard [SG] for 30mins. at 1.30am.
I asked him
[YY] How old are you?
[SG] I'm 64 this year.
[YY] Will you mind if I ask you, what your biggest achievements thus far?
[SG] To be and feel happy everyday.
[YY] Oh okay... so have you been happy everyday for past 64yrs?
[SG] Young man, 1 day there's 24 hours. 8 hours are meant for work. 8 hours are meant for sleep. You are left with 8 hours. Don't think so much and go home now to sleep your 8 hours.
[YY] I'm only left with 6 hours to sleep. I worked and eat the other 18 hours today.
[SG] How old are you?
[YY] 28
[SG] You look 40.
[YY] No la!
[SG] Your 18 hours have made you look 40. Now go home and rest... If you continue this life, you will never achieve what I have achieved today...
[YY] Okay..

Morale of the story: It is good to have conversations with any people.

This is what I do for a living...

2010-02-09T03:19:00.002+10:00

1. All the planning in the world is never going to hit you with love. If it hits you, it hits you. There's never planning.
2. Romance to me is a good conversation with lots of laughter.
3. Seeing her smile is the .........
4. You will never really know. Go with the flow, with time. It's all about adrenalin. You just know. How do you know if you want to pee? How do you know when you are hungry?
5. I believe that you only learn to love by loving.
6. No relationship is a failure, because if things don't work out, you always learn something from it.
7. Love is when you look into someone's eyes and you see the heart.
8. The 1st duty of love is to listen.
9. Love, you need to trust. But first, you need to love then to trust.
10. Best thing in life are never kept, they should be given away, smiles, care and love.
11. When you are in love, you know there's this nagging urge to meet the person again and again.
12. Love sometimes can be magic, but magic sometimes can be illusions.
13. Remember, happiness is a way of travel, not destination.
14. Good as loving yourself, you will have difficulty loving someone else.
15. To love is to have a heart. To be in love is to make the heart beat.

I counsel.. :)

终于

2010-02-03T12:43:00.003+10:00

我终于....

After all the silly stuffs... Finally...

After 1 big round and many years... Finally...

Thank you for giving me this opportunity...

It's my honour and pleasure to be with you...

Thanks mate, appreciate your time and efforts. :)

Secured Mailbox

2010-02-01T14:22:00.002+10:00

I got only 170 in another email mailbox! Woohoo! That leaves me with little emails to clear..

Not bad, I dropped from 700+ to now 250!

250 + 170 = Woohoo

The way to go!

5 days that I am out of Office

2010-01-29T22:16:00.001+10:00

774 NEW Emails sitting inside Inbox. This is just HP email address.

I got another mailbox, which is Government Email Address. I wonder how many emails are inside there.

Oh my farking god.

I wanna mark today...

2010-01-26T03:10:00.002+10:00

He refuse to go see doctor tomorrow... He's got an appointment yet refuse to visit the specialist.
He consumes at least two cans of 100plus per day. He refuses to listen to nags and complains about consuming sweet stuff.
What can or should I do with him?!?!
Fark, it's disappointing...
Nonetheless, this is not the first time and I shall not be too bothered.

Unhappy over the other, but happy over this!

Today I am a very happy man, because I finally bought a new shower water heater!!!
This is like after 1 year lor...
Previous heater leaked water for close to a year? Can't exactly remember how long but it is longggggggggg.... We dragged till we finally cannot tahan... hahaha
and today the new shower water heater is finally installed!
Plus new shower head! woohoo!!! Finally!!!

I got good shower facility! Woohoo!
I'm a happy man... so so happy... :)

Pray..I will...

2010-01-22T13:33:00.004+10:00

Today I sit in your vehicle...
While filtering out to main road...
You handle the radio. BUT NOT looking at cars or traffic!
You are a hazard to the road...
I hope you do not run down any human on the road...
I hope you do not crash into another vehicle on the road...
I pray hard I do not need to bear any consequences...
I will pray hard for you...

If only I earn enough to support you... So you don't have to go out and work...
If only i'm paid more as part of retaining quality staff
If only...
Nonetheless, I'm disappointed in myself
I should continue to strive hard and fight on...
To earn more...
So 1 day... you don't have to go out and work...
Cause hazard to others...
Be a dangerous object
And I do not have to worry every farking single day about mobile ring...

Continue to pray.. I will... in deep hopes...

where?

2010-01-20T01:10:00.002+10:00

where has my "C" gone to???
Interesting chats throughout the entire day today...

The best reaps of the day...
I listen a lot a lot. I hear so much that i have to filter and summarise them for memory processing.

Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for helping me.

A recent trip..

2010-01-19T03:17:00.004+10:00

The sunrise is good.. the sun set reminds me of Byron Bay...
The walk home reminds me of Brisbane River...
The path reminds me of jogging days...
I miss winter... I miss the cooling weather...
The sound of sea waves is excellent...
As I sat in the boat... So relaxed... The peace.. and the quiet.. the tranquility beats everything else... I look up in the sky... Clear blue sky... I see birds flying in groups... Is there a leader? They just fly in groups together...
I miss forest trail walks... I miss the sound of water falls... I miss photographing everything...

No matter how tired you are... It is a passion...
Passion that burning flaming hot.
Many reasons to pause it for the moment now until end feb... but I know... this is the one that will keep me till I die...

Watched a badminton blog short 30min show last night. Reminds me of my enduring 6years of my life 6 days a week spent in the SBA. That guy was once who I am.
Guess I should go find my China Coach... Bump into Kendrick Lee recently, he too quitted pro badminton. lol
Thought of teaching badminton as part time before... but...

I'm lost. Good friend told me many today. I'm deep in thoughts. It's been a while....
I hope tomorrow, work will diminish all the deep thoughts.

Damn

2009-12-27T05:47:00.001+10:00

I still miss her.. I really do.. Fark fark fark.. fuck fuck fuck.. I hate I hate I hate... this feeling...
Fuck!!!!!!
I still miss her... Sigh.................................

It's been a while... I miss you... I still miss you...

2009-12-19T05:24:00.003+10:00

Very delighted to hear good news from my good mate. He has finally found the right one. Very happy to see them enjoying their night today. I'm really sorry I cannot afford big red packet as i'm really in bad finance status.

Another good news, 1 of my good mate is happily attached! So happy for him. My intuition tells me, 1 day I'm going to be invited for his wedding dinner. I'll pray for them everything goes right for them and see them get married happily. All the best mate! She's the one, you gambattee!

As per previous posts, I'm feeling strange and weird lately. I feel super duper happy seeing everybody else happy. That makes me feel happy and relaxed.

However.......

Sometimes I wonder, am I having depression? Am I facing mental disorder?

Doing everything, all I can to please everybody else except myself. I bought hundreds of presents for my nieces but nothing for myself.
I do want to spend some on myself to make myself happy? But that's like satisfying my own self and I am not brave enough to do it.

I'm burning hundreds of hours at work. Why? So I can help cover heavy workload while others can go out happily to meet their friends or go home and spend happy hours with their family. Despite me stuck at work everynight, it still actually feels good to imagine others happily laughing away.

Shared with my friends my intention of becoming 'monk'. :)

There's no one to blame except myself, poor planning. If I could stick to good planning, I could had plans for xmas eve and nye. I really miss them lots.

Need a listening ear badly... Someone dear is leaving me again... Sad...

Thought you really changed for the better, but today you got sacked again. What the F did you do wrong again. I'm tired to understand what really happen. I gave you sooooo blady f***king chances, again and again, you never fail to disappoint me.

Mate! You're finally getting married! Woohoo! Super duper happy for you! Sorry, could not fork out time to accompany you see ring :( Feel damn bad.
You mention something that day which still rings in my head "You're turning into a person who is not yourself"
No matter what and how you change into, you will always have my support. Everybody change... There is never a real answer to "Did you change to be better or worse?"
Today, I regret I did not change certain things, because if I would, things may be better? So go on and change. Life needs a change anyway! You cannot forever be the same! :)

Back to the topic? Yes after so long, I still miss you.

Does not seem like this is a good year for me.

According to chinese zodiac, Dog clash with Bull. And so! To believe or not to believe, to pray is like a prevention to regret for not praying.
I prayed!!!

This is still what happens...

Tomorrow will be a better day... Tomorrow always will be a better day :)

怎么办!!!

2009-12-01T00:23:00.002+10:00

好累.真的好累. 工作累.回到家又听唠叨.
Tmd,妈妈每天念,你几时要带女朋友回家? 你几时才要去找工作? 起死我了.

Today boss just nag again, "If you keep staying in office late, you will never find a wife!"
I told him "SACK ME"
He say "Look at my face, do you hear me saying Fark Off"
hahahaha... really bueh tahan whenever I talk to him, he's forever sarcastic!
I bump into him on my way back from dinner. He saw me and say "Thanks for inviting me to the dinner!"
I say "I do not want to see your face while having dinner!" hahaha.. that shut him up.

Sigh... actually... what i'm really sad is... my dear sister may be leaving the company... Damn sadz... it's going to be a huge lost to the company. I told my boss about it and ask him go beg her to stay, he said "You know what? It's nearly impossible to get anyone to stay when company's announcing 1 week ago there's no PAY RISE for THIS & NEXT Year!"

Next moment, I bring up my email this Job Description and show him. "Boss, this is the job description I'm going for interview tomorrow"

kept stressing him i need more money to support my 18-holes, he said "I'm supporting a wife at home!"
Argh.....

Anyways, sad year for me....

Omfg...

2009-11-29T02:16:00.003+10:00

I felt so relieved... Feel so lucky today...
Oh my farking god.. I almost went to joo chiat for crabs earlier on!!!
Thank god I didn't go or couldn't make it to go.
Thank god something screw up in the middle and caused me 1 hour delay.
Thank god my mother also said go elsewhere to eat.

Phew~~~~~~~

I cannot imagine how would I react if I would to see 'her' there.
I cannot.... It's beyond words of explanation.
I know for sure, my heart will pip pop pip pop non stop.
My thoughts now at this hour is that, I would change place to eat. Would not settle down there to eat. Moment I see her I will go. Can't do mate, just can't do.

You'll only know how it feels when you're in my shoes. By reading and hearing stories will not help get you to understand how I feel mate.

Anyway, I just wanna express how good it feels to have not gone to joo chiat for crabs :)

Can't do this in fb mate! hahaha!

好人难做

2009-11-26T03:31:00.002+10:00

好困扰...
好人真的不容易做
好人也不好当

Today you cried. I feel terribly sorry.
I wish you all the best and good luck.
I did my best that I can. I offered you the crying shoulder. I sayang you. I pat you.

I really hope nothing goes wrong to you.

No matter how difficult and many more long hours I have to add. I'll gladly do it.
Go, take a break, do what you can. Do what you need to.

I strongly encourage you and support you.

Another story...

I'm very happy to hear see know about your new relationship
It's really strange nowadays...
I'm super duper looking forward to make people smile laugh and feel happy
I did my very best to make someone's wife happy by trying to enforce things on her husband so she could have more time with him. In return, I burn more hours. But that's okay! I smile in my heart / mind while doing so...

Guess I did too much EVIL things in the past... and am afraid of retributions? hahaha

Nonetheless, it really feels good...

Call me strange weird.
I'll glady give you twenty cent coinsss, go call someone who care...

越想越生气

2009-11-14T18:56:00.002+10:00

越想越生气.
我辛辛苦苦赚来得钱,给你就是给你去吃饭或唱k.
你却拿来请朋友吃饭!
一百块就这样不见了.
我真拿你没办法.

难道,这就是我的命运?

Updates...

2009-11-14T05:11:00.002+10:00

Why would I bother to update blog even though it's not the trend nowadays?
I guess it's because I have no one to talk to?
Could it be because my life has change so much that now I have the time to do so?
No more clubbing nights.. No more party nights...
Isn't it weird or strange... When you become single again, it's time to go out mix and make new friends? But I don't.
Enough of clubbing nights, I'm tired.
Today I'm 27, but I feel like I'm 30 or more. I just wanna go home and rest every single night. Spend good time at home accompany the old folks. I have neglected them for too many years.
I recall how much I miss watching movies during the past 2 or 4 years...
I caught up with movies from July to September and now I've stopped. haha Irony
I use to complain to my ex-gf how much I love to watch movies and every single time, I kept pulling her to go watch with me. She made few attempts.
I did end up going to movies alone, while she stayed at home.

Do I look like I should be attached? Had a chat with few colleagues + security aunt today. All were shocked to know I'm single and available. hahaha
I've been so close to 1 female colleague, the security aunt said "Please go tell your wife to watch her attitude, she is very rude, since you are her husband, I hope you can talk her out" haha
And! My colleague ask me to go SDU. Oh mannn.... Ouch :)
I've figured it out. I'm going to stay single for as long as it takes.

Had a chat with good friend today, it made me recall how I got myself attached with past few girls and my past few relationships... heh heh ... THEY WERE good memories... Even the most recent relationship? It was also unexpected and a BIG surprise. (I'll never forget mount cootha and blue lotus) It just happened! It shocked every single person who knows me.
Who knows my next relationship could be the same girl again? (You'll never know) It could be another surprise again! haha
Anyway, my point is... I had dropped the idea of searching for 'the right one'. It will happen unexpectedly.
Drop all the nonsense thoughts about getting attached, settle down, get married, have kids... I'll find a way to stuff my mum's mouth up. Stop her from all those naggings!

There's perhaps three aims in my life now.
1. Mum
2. Golf
3. Career
I cannot concentrate at work.
I cannot sleep well.
All because of golf!!! I kept thinking about it! God damn it!

I recall sometime back in Nov/Dec 2007, I told my ex-gf.. If only I have a golf set, I will borrow her car and go range alone. Those were words. Now, I have finally made those words into actionSSSSS.
I have step onto a 9-hole.
End this month, I will be stepping onto 18-Hole.

It's been a long timeeeeeee since I felt this HOT, eager, anticipation, looking forward to that day...

Thank you...

2009-11-04T04:21:00.002+10:00

Thanks for your thoughts...
erm.. perhaps it's not too good bcoz you're attending few more weddings... and it'll clash...
we all know your heart and sincere thoughts...
Thanks!!!!!!! Appreciate it!

Ni de hao yi wo xin ling le... Xie Xie

Insomnia...

2009-11-03T03:43:00.002+10:00

Is it because of you? Or is it myself?
I can't seem to sleep soundly every night...
Every night, it seems like I'm only taking a nap...

Should I go see a doctor?

Here's more to YOU...

2009-11-01T20:04:00.002+10:00

I can hear your heart beat for a thousand miles
And the heavens open every time you smiles
And when I come to you that's where I belong

You've got a fine sense of humor when I'm feeling low down
And when I come to you when the sun goes down
Takes away my trouble, takes away my grief
Takes away my heartache, in the night like a thief

Yes I need you in the daytime
Oh but I need you in the night
Yes I want to throw my arms around you
Kiss you hug you kiss you hug you tight

And when I'm returning from so far away
You give me some sweet lovin brighten up my day
Yes it makes me righteous, yes it makes me feel whole
Yes it makes me mellow down in to my soul

You give me love, love, love, love, crazy love

-----------------------------------------------

I'm Not Surprised
Not Everything Lasts.
I've Broken My Heart So Many Times
I Stopped Keeping Track.
I Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get All Worked Up Then I Let Myself Down.

I Tried So Very Hard Not To Loose It,
I Came Up With A Million Excuses,
I thought I thought of Every Possibility.

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Being In Your Life Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Single Possibility

When sky's are gray, when sky's are blue
In the morning
All I do the whole day through is dream of you

You're every thought, you're everything
You're every song I ever sing
Summer, winter, autumn and spring

And were there more than twenty-four hours a day
They'd be spent in sweet content dreamin' away

You make me smile...

2009-11-01T00:49:00.002+10:00

Hi YOU, I wish to tell you all these...

-----------------------------

You're better then the best

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Don't know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes

Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

-----------------------------

I don’t know but
I think I maybe
Fallin’ for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe I should
Keep this to myself
Waiting ’til I
Know you better

As I’m standing here
And you hold my hand
Pull me towards you
And we start to dance
All around us
I see nobody
Here in silence
It’s just you and me

Oh I just can’t take it
My heart is racing
The emotions keep spilling out

I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
and now I found ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’m fallin’ for you
I think I’m fallin’ for you

I can’t stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can’t hide it
I think I’m fallin’ for you...

I’m fallin’ for you

Ooohhh
Oh no no
Oooooohhh
Oh I’m fallin’ for you

-----------------------------

When I let you go, you know
I thought it was for the best
Now it is so obvious

I could run for miles and miles
I'd take off and I'd start flying
I could cross land and sea
If you'd just believe me

I should not have hurt you so
This old house is not a home
Without you here there's no use
I've got no time left to lose

Just look at me
If you'd only see me
I would prove my love for you
I could swallow half the moon
Just tell me where, tell me when
I will have you back again

-----------------------------

Some things we don't talk about
Rather do without and just hold the smile
Falling in and out of love
Ashamed and proud of, together all the while

You can never say never
While we don't know when
But time and time again
Younger now than we were before

Picture, you're the queen of everything
Far as the eye can see under your command
I will be your guardian when all is crumbling
I'll steady your hand

We're pulling apart and coming
Together again and again
We're growing apart but we pull it together
Pull it together, together again

Don't let me go

I smile when I think of you...

Thanks,
Yang

Recently...

2009-10-15T14:47:00.002+10:00

Recently, I have been chatting to a 8 year old girl! She's my colleague's daughter. It's good fun to chat to her.

There's too many complex matters evolving around adult life happening everyday. Sometimes it's good to talk to the young ones, get into their world. Their simple, don't think so much, naive world :)

I feel happy :)

The ADvantage...

2009-10-14T19:37:00.003+10:00

The ADvantage of having a Wife who does not work. Full-time housewife.

With you being the sole breadwinner!
You get to organise and plan any holiday events you want!

You don't have to force your wife to take leave or anything!

Advantage of just two of you in the family? with no kids?

You travel as and when you like!!!

Example, this weekend.
We're having friday as half-day, following Monday as Public Holiday.

Easily, the husband calls the wife "Go book a trip to Batam"

Dah Dah! The trip is booked... And a happy weekend to look forward to!!!

I am working towards becoming the sole breadwinner for the family. I want to be like him :) I will be like him.

The other You...

2009-10-14T03:07:00.002+10:00

Hi XXX,

Though you exist in the world but I have not found you yet.

I wish to take this opportunity and share with you my stories...

1 day, I went to a friend's house. There was a dog named Troy. The moment he saw me, he hopped onto me! He is a Labrador. He stand up high with two legs on the ground. He reached my waist. His claws were sharp! No joke! It scratched me! My back! My waist! (The scars still exist after 3 days) He stand up high, acting as if he wants to mate me.
Im not joking about this, but I feel loved! haha!
Im not scared of him.. I did not run away... His mouth open wide looking at me.. But shaking his bottom (told you, he wants to mate me)
Hahahaha.. it was funny of course.. all my other friends were laughing...

Well, I rest my hand on his head, sort of like pushing him down? He finally step down... haha.. So i walked away while he followed me all the way...
I walk fast, he walked fast... That was fun...

Well, I did not play with him the whole night again because he always want to mate... hahahaha...

Anyway... here's the idea... To my next 'Girlfriend'...
You must love dogs, because I will buy a dog! :)

First, I will hire a maid... Next, I will buy a dog!

Alright, new interests to pursue after!

You...

2009-10-14T02:48:00.003+10:00

Hi XXX,

I had so much fun with you...
Everyday I want to sms you but I did not.
Ever after since that night, you turn cold towards me again.
Have I done something wrong? What did I do wrong?

Not once, after every night.. the next day... It seems like we have not met up the previous nights... There's no post chats... No post conversations...
Why???? Why ???? Why ??????????????

You have made me entered into your world... and then you kicked me out of your world again...

I saw you online in msn... and initiate a conversation to you? And you replied coldly... Sigh... Shortly after.. you log off...

Is this how it's going to be? I hope not...

I want to tell you this, you have became a special girl in my life... Someone who I look forward to see everyday, every weekend...

I'll always keep these words in my mind. I'll safekeep this letter in the left heart pocket.

Thank you for all your time spent with me.

From,
Yang

This Era...

2009-10-06T17:26:00.003+10:00

1 fine day...

TODAY, I received 3 wedding invitations!
One in October, One in November, One in December

This makes it......

3 in October
2 in November
4 in December

When is it going to be my turn to send out wedding invitiations?

S.I.G.H.......

Insomnia...

2009-09-30T03:52:00.003+10:00

Why and how does people have it?

I want to jump into swimming pool now... I need a swim badly...

Stupid. Why am I so stupid? Should not go talk to her. Should not had initiated chat with her.

This sucks totally.

The feeling of losing her to someone else.

Eventful weekend...

2009-09-27T19:41:00.002+10:00

Swam 25 laps non-stop, feels damn shiok.
I have been swimming at least once per week for past 3 months! Happy that i'm able to discipline myself.
Hope this continues until I reach 1 year mark!

Driving range later which will make me feel more shiok!

Followed by home to catch F1!

Sports sports and sports, that's how a weekend should be... :)

I believe...

2009-09-27T05:36:00.002+10:00

Today I watched a show, "Little Big, Little Middle Street"

I truly believe "True Love exist"

I will wait for true love and the right girl...Everything to go naturally... Not to force...

Feel so in love now :)

Wonderful night tonight again. Thanks to all.
Thanks beng! Faster take action before she's attached! :)

Feels good to see everybody so happy and loving :)

Why x 3

2009-09-09T02:42:00.004+10:00

I had given hope on you... it could be since 3 years ago... or 10 years ago.
I gave you weekly allowance so that you can eat, travel or take up any leisure activities.
You chose to gamble.
I'm disappointed.

I cannot stop. I got to continue till the day ...

I'm still searching for a book about
"How to change a person"

Perhaps the book should be
"How to change your ownself"

The Science of Heartbreak

2009-09-08T23:16:00.001+10:00

Interesting.... Taken from June Men's Health

I found myself bonded in ways I had never felt with another human being. She was the smartest, most fascinating woman I had ever met. she made me feel that I was intelligent, witty, attractive, worthy - in short, one of life's winners.
Looking back, it's hard to imagine a better set-up for a crash.
The forces that bind two people in union are powerful, but love's dissolution is even more potent.

"A heart broken from love lost rates among the most stressful life events a person can experience"

"It's exceeded in psychological pain only by horrific events, such as the loss of a child"

It's what we feel, in other words, when we meet "the one" and become determined to win her heart.

It's a highly adaptive drive that keeps our eyes on the prize and prevents us from squandering time and resources on sub-optimal prospects.

When scenes of her fornicating with somebody new arose unbidden in my mind, I was overcome with rage and fantasies of revenge. Other times, I would suddenly find myself reliving memories of her sweetest, and most endearing and vulnerable moments. The urge to once again comfort her and make her happy became, if anything, an even worse torment than thoughts of strangling her.

It's like being trapped in a box with loudspeaker that amplifies your own voice, continuously broadcasting your shortcomings. Nothing I did could make me shut up.

Cravings for a fix from her could be set off by almost anything - A whiff of her perfume, a once-shared haunt, songs on the radio.

When something is enormously important to us, it makes sense that we don't give up too easily.

With the adandonment of hope often comes deep pessimisn and self-recrimination over the many ways we've screwed up.

When you've suffered a major setback in life, it's actually unhealthy to feel optimistic. The pain and obsessive thoughts of heartbreak force us to gear back, really think things through, and examine our mistakes before we rush out and try again.

Somtimes I would call her late at night. First few times I called, she seemed, for a minute or two, almost kind. She would reaffirm that it wasn't me - that two of us had just met at the wrong stage of life.

I could ask her calmly as I could to give me a second chance and when she answered "no", I would plead my case with increasing desperation.

The next time I see her arrived with another guy I had never seen before. I despised him intensely, but I hated her more.

For one final moment, our eyes locked together. Mine continued to burn with devotion and enmity. But her eyes looked back at mine with neither pity nor pique, just something close to absolute disregard.
In that horrible instant, I had my first hope that one day I could join her there.

A tactic "no contact" rule. Idea is simple enough. Have absolutely nothing to do with your old flame. To many a heartbroken guy, such advice makes plenty of sense. But then emotions take over, urging the exact opposite course. So which should we listen to - the brain or the heart?

"You need to treat heartbreak like the addiction it is"
This means no interaction, no calls, no letters, no checking up on her Facebook page, no going to gym where she's likely to be.

Resist too, an ex's offer to remain friendly. "If the person who dumped you wants to remain friends, tell her "fine" in three years. For now, you need time and space to get over her.

Eliminate all of her cards, gifts, phone messages and belongings - in short, any reminders that she once shared your life.

Something will remind you of her. In this regard, the world remains a minefield for a very long time. Perhaps, like me, you'll cross paths with her , despite all your best efforts at absolutely no contact.

During the worst of my heartbreak, I was convinced I would never again be anything but damaged goods.

When we finally do emerge able to move on, we find ourselves wiser, blessed with more empathy and unblinded to the power love holds in our lives. We are built to love and to love again.

I know now that nothing will chase away all traces of her from my heart.

I'm grateful, in fact, and I only hope she has forgiven me as I have finally forgiven her.

My Knee...

2009-09-01T02:19:00.004+10:00

My knee hurts... I cannot jog any longer than 15mins... Sad.

The ligament inside the knee.. slightly lower the knee cap.. feels as if it is about to snap loose... I fear I will feel the 'pop' sound again...

I always believe in this...
Pain will not leave you... Pain will never leave you...
You work your way out to make pain go away...
I believe the more I exercise, the more I jog... the pain in the knee will go away...

Oh wait, maybe I should take another approach as I'm no longer 21 years old... But! I'm not 35 years old either!

What is right? What is wrong?

I reckon I'm a stubborn person... I shall persist and endure... 1 Day the pain will disappear :)

someone, please help me

2009-08-31T03:01:00.002+10:00

to think of it now, what on earth have i done wrong? it's true love isn't it? Why do i always have to end up this way. Is it true tat she really do not love me anymore? Everytime i see her online, i want to talk to her, but..
I love her.. what else have I not done? What have i not done enough? I just can't picture the missing holes.. Sigh.. All i wish now is she to sms me this "i miss you". I swear to god I'll sure jump ecstactically.

i can't get it off my head

2009-08-31T02:54:00.000+10:00

is this called love??? I can't seem to get her off my mind... I can still vividly remember the first times... The processes how we got together...
The blue lotus... The university... Where we sat.. Where we chat... How we walked back without holding hands waiting for the other to action... The mount cootha...
Oh god! This is just so god damn blardy hard!!!
So many wonderful happy lovely memories! God! Helpppppp me!!

My Life...

2009-08-29T16:52:00.002+10:00

Monday to Friday I work like dog. Slog my life off. Commit my billions of hours to work.
Monday to Friday I find time to exercise.
Badminton only on Tuesday. Other days Jog.
Wednesday I go golf.

Saturday I wash and hang my clothes.
Saturday I find time go swim.
Sunday I keep and fold clothes.
Sunday I iron my clothes.
Sunday I find time go swim.

I find time to watch Taiwan Xing Guang Da Dao!

Nothing in Particular...

2009-08-15T01:04:00.003+10:00

Today.. I mean tonight.. I fark it up again... Sigh... Why? Why? Why?
I don't know.. I've been searching high and low for the reason.. for the true real reason... Why???
I feel damn fark up.. damn guilty... Sigh... Nothing can express the 'painful' feeling I've got inside me at this very moment now...

Here's something else!
I finally realise something else!
It's not that because we are of different levels...
It's just this transition phase which everyone will go through!
So ... More time.. I need more time...
Time is not enough! Never enough!!!

Wow, it has been a very busy past 4 weeks. So busy that I have got no time to do what I do daily... My daily routine gets messed up. But! I still found time to do my exercises! I guess because of the time spent on sports... I got to sacrifice some others... but it's worthed it! :)

Updates about my exercise regime...
It's difficult. You need lots of motivation and discipline to maintain it.
When did I last start it? Hmmm, i cannot remember...
Anyway! I'm still running and swimming. Man, I can't tell you how SHIOK I feel with one full body of sweat. The sweat dripping down the chin. Sweat slipping down the arms and legs. Sweat dripping off the hair. It's just damn shiok.
I used to have this kinda lifestyle for 6 years, and I stopped. But now, I found it back. I hope this can continue for at least 1 year. haha!

Oh well, it's been crazy past 3 months.

Recently I did 21km run for a time of 2 hour 33mins. I never stop to walk at all. The only times I stopped are to drink water properly... To really hydrate myself.
I tried first 3 times, jog and drink, which I realise I spilled too much. So next few times, I walked and drink.
Shiok. The run is SHIOK. That's all I can describe. The run flagged off at 5.30am. We reached at 5am. Warm up slowly, took our own sweet time walk to starting point and off we go!
I lost my friend at 5km mark, so the rest 16km, I ran alone without listening to any music. I tell you, the run is enjoying, damn shiok.
The best part of all is running when it's dark. It is so cooling. As sun rise approaches, you see the red sky as you run towards it. It stops feeling shiok as it starts to get warmer. Sigh... "Run faster to complete it soon!"
The pain kicks in at 16km mark, my knees, my thighs starts to feel. The tiring legs kept telling the mind to stop and walk, but I denied my mind.
It's over! Full of memories and wonderful stories to share with friends and colleagues.
Next up... 21km Stand Chart.. My mind keeps telling me to take up 42km...

Shocked

2009-07-16T18:32:00.003+10:00

Met up with an old friend recently, wow! She had turned into alcoholic!
What I remember that she was a very good, sporty, 阳光女孩, good figure girl!
Not that she does not have them now, I mean, I wouldn't know...
But I'm really surprised she had turned into alcoholic and super happening.
Monday to Thursday, I would say she is out every night with different friends.
She indeed lead an interesting life I must say...

I'm just surprised she drinks alcohol on MOST nights....

Addictive...

2009-07-15T15:47:00.003+10:00

Guess it's been a while... for 6 years?
So it was my first time in 6 years that I jogged a long 7km distance.
Feeling was great, really did not want to stop. I stopped because I had to sleep early. Otherwise, I guess I could go on and on till past mid-night timing...

7km... to others, it may short.. to me.. it's long!

I wonder when's the next time I'm going to push myself to surpass this limit.

Jogging is addictive... Especially when the adrenalins kick in.. They'll really boost up your morale and momemtum. :)

For consecutive 3 weeks, I've been jogging and swimming... Jog for at least 2 nights, swim for at least 2 days...

How long can I continue this regime? I wonder...

Of course I hope to continue this regime for at least 3 months!

I realise...

2009-07-12T04:13:00.003+10:00

No life people always blog! wahahaha! Maybe I should blog less, it'll show im busy! haha!

Anyway, just want to write this down and remember the explored adventure trip I had this afternoon.

I went swimming, it took me 45mins to reach my destination where if I had taken a cab, I would had reached within 10mins! haha!

Here's how the story goes...

I board the LRT from my house nearby. I reached compasspoint station, thought it may continue to the other direction, I stayed in the train. It turned back!
Knowing it will go back to compasspoint, I decided to stay in the train. So I went 1 round. Took me 15mins here?
I drop off at compasspoint, give up trying alone, so I decided to approach transit staff and ask for help.
He told me "wait at the platform for the next train, it is going west bound. Another tip, follow the signboards words, those with red indicates that it's going west bound."
So! I walked to the platform and board the train.
The train went east-bound! (Okay, i'm silly here not to look up signboard and observer if it's green or red words. Hahaha!)
Okay, I should explain further... There's east side, where I'm staying and west side, that's where my swimming complex is.
So all along, i've been trying to get to west side! Why is that so difficult? Why is the LRT service so complex? hahaha... I was frustrated of course, but knowing me, I didn't give up... so I alight next stop, change back towards compasspoint.
Finally I hope on west bound train!
To add more time, my stop is 2nd last stop, the train has to go through 6 stations before reaching my destination! The west bound train only travels in one direction. hahaha
Well you want to use the transport provided, you've got to follow their rules! :)
At least got train brings me there! Otherwise, got to walk a longggg wayyy.... hahaha!
So in total, 45mins spent on the LRT ride!

Finally, I reached my swimming complex!

Here's an interesting feel I wish to share...

For the 1st time in my life, I saw heaps and heaps of kites!!! It really touches me...
How people devote their time to fly kites
How high the kite can fly to
How relaxing it can be
How stressful it can be

I wanna buy a kite, to play with it... I wanna fly like a kite too, high up up above... I wanna be like the kite, flying up there following the wind... feeling the wind brushes against my face... The feeling is just soooooo shiok :)

Nice people are all around...

2009-07-11T17:16:00.003+10:00

They don't show until something happens...

This morning I received a SMS from colleague... early at 9am! She called me at 11am to chit chat about this... It is really funny and cute...

My Manager, who is a Director, wants to match make me to another sweet girl!
She upon hearing from my colleague, that I'm single...
She said " wah, Yang is a nice boy, okay, let me think of girls to introduce to yang. Hmmm.. okay I got 1 girl in mind now liao, let me call her colleague/boss now "
She picked up the phone immediately and called!
My colleague was stunned...
So she got the girl... she is 24 years old...
She's working in public sector... Well, i'm glad she is working... That would at least make my marriage plans easier...
Anyway, I have not met her yet :P
Will update once I met her...

Hahahaha... What an interesting life... My director and colleagues have been trying hard to find girls to match make me...

I hereby sincerely would like to say a BIG THANK you to all of you...

You guys really made my life better...

You need good AND nice colleagues to help you stay in a job. :)

One of the best e-mail ever I have ever received‏

2009-07-08T17:24:00.001+10:00

TRUST
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, 'Public Utilities Board.' There was silence. She repeated, 'PUB.' There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, 'Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is.'

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just 'hello' instead of 'PUB'.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, 'Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?'
The father-in-law answered in a smile, 'Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you.'

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested 'I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.' The SDU officer said, 'Your requirements, please.' 'Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.' The officer listened carefully and replied, 'I understand you need television.'

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up a nd discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that 'It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character.'

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

RIGHT SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that 'A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation.' Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, 'Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school.' On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, 'Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker.' She answered,'You should appreciate that you married me. Other wise, he will be the millionaire and not you.'

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

PERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, 'Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey? 'Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, 'The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?' Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, 'How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman.'
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, 'Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you.' Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a nar row bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

BE PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, 'Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck.' Then he asked, 'but when are my fingers going to grow back?' The father went home & committed suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

'Good Life starts only when you stop wanting a better One'
'Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away '

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

Thank you all...

2009-07-05T05:03:00.005+10:00

Thanks for the chat. It made me realise, I am not selfish, I am very selfish. I thought I am responsible but I was wrong, I am very irresponsible. I am too self-centered. I only care for myself. I'm not who I used to be before. I've became very mean, very cunning, overly ambitious and selfish. I'm not a nice man. I'm not generous. Do you think you qualify as generous and kind person by doing charity work? By donating money? No... wrong thinking!
I place myself ahead of everyone else, ahead of anything else. WHY??????
I'm disgusted at myself.
I'm utterly disappointed at myself.

Anyway... I would like to take this opportunity to...

I would like to thank the following people, really appreciate all their support and help through these years...
Damon, Linda, Indra, Michelle, JingHui, Ben, Geraldine - These guys have helped me a lot for the past 4 years...
Special thanks to Iris and Joel - Without them, I would not had the 4 years...
Special special thanks to Joel - Marvellous great nice guy. Done everything he could in this world to help out.
Special special special thanks to Iris - Without her! She would not be herself!
Her Family and Relatives.
Her colleagues - These guys are equally important. Why? The number of hours they see her and spent with her was much more than me! She would not be what she is today without their huge support & encouragement.

Sorry, I do not want to write too many details drilling down into what help they have provided, as it's all pertaining to the same 'item' which is relationship.
They have really supported, helped and guided me a long way. They have taught me a lot.
Now that I do not think I will see them as often again, I hereby with greatest gratitude, like to thank them for all the love, fun, care and happy moments they have shared with me for past 4 years. I sincerely wish them all the best to their life, love, career, health and happiness in the future...

To those out there with love and still in relationship. Please heed my advice. Please listen to these words carefully
"If you truly love that person, give 100%, all out and expect nothing in return"
As long as you have done that, you do not live with regrets because you know you had done everything in the world you could.
Stop telling yourself:

I will do that the next time
I will do it tomorrow
I will improve
I will change
I will strive

Just give 100% out, do not expect something in return.

I lived with that motto before... Somehow I lost it. Now it's back.

Good luck everybody! You are the best! :)

I cannot believe this

2009-06-30T02:28:00.003+10:00

I never thought I will come back to visit this and do this... I still cannot believe I'm writing this right now at this hour, when I have to wake up early for work, as per the normal FT workaholic adult in this city island.

I don't think I will be wrong in making this statement
"I can write anything I like as nobody longer reads my blog. I can write anything I like as it will not affect my career."

So i'm really going to throw and dump everything into this blog! Woohoo!!!

Once I started a Fairy Tale... it ended in March 2007 because I started another stage of my life...

It has to begin with starting a career... Dating to get married, buy a house, buy a car, have kids... The timing is just right and nice for all these to take place! Date for couple of years, which adds up to 4 years now. To propose this year, and get married next year. I will be 28yrs old, and she will be 27yrs old. We can have kids too if it's possible! We both got stable jobs and career, so why not!

Anyway, from March 2007 till today, I was busy. Real busy.
I've never been so busy and occupied ever since I dropped out from Badminton Squad.

I have had lead a happy and unhappy life.

When I look at daily life, daily activities, they formed the unhappy moments.
When I look further, at the long term plans, and flashed back of past history, I only remembered the happy moments.
Guess my brain has auto-filteration system, and to only remember the good moments more than the bad ones.

Anyway... From starting a career to ....... etc...

I've gone back to the beginning "Starting a career". The rest of them are gone...

I'm truly sad. I do not want to give up. I do not want to return back to original point 6 years ago when I broke off with my 1st longest relationship. This is the second longest. Both happen in June. Oh god, how much I hate June month. It all just have to happen in June month, and 2 months later will be August where I had to spend my birthday alone again. Oh god... Why? Why me? Why must it happen on me again? This time round I shall not give up, but it's difficult. It's very hard. Why? She is just so heartless, cold, mean and nasty towards me. She is doing all she can to stop me from trying again and again, but it will not stop me. I won't give up. I cannot let go the love of my life. She gave me so much, she gave up so much for me! She gives me inspirations, motivations and ambitions. I work hard for everything to try give her a better life.
I really do not want everything to go into a waste right now.

For how long more do I need to wait? I'm going to wait as long as it takes until she is with the next man, otherwise, I will continue to chase her. I want to make her feel loved again. I will not stop loving her. She is just so precious to me. She is the jewel, the gem, to my life. She made me feel crazy and serious. I love her so much.

I've tried to take lots of photo shots with my ex-girlfriend, with 1 hope in mind. To share all of them with our kids in the future. I want to let them see how mummy is like when she was 24 years old onwards... together with daddy. How beautiful their mummy was, how cute, sweet, charming, lovely she was. How lovely, how romantic their parents once were. We had so many special photos and different photos as suppose to normal everything Singapore life photos. Your mummy and daddy ever lead a special different life. They definitely had best moments while they were young. After which, both of them decided to work hard, to get settled down and give birth to you two! (Now, i recall, we were supposed to give birth to 1 pair of identical twins, one girl, one boy, haha!)
But well, all these are gone. What I can do now is, help her to burn all photos and let her safekeep herself. It's up to her what she want to share with her kids in the future.

This is what she hopes to hear from me but I ain't going to say to her. I want to marry her.
"Good luck to your future endeavors. I wish you find the right man, the right husband, the right daddy."

No doubt at the moment now, I cannot promise I'll make a good father, but I can promise you I will be a good husband.
It's all stages, I believe I can do a better job than my own dad when my kids are out into the world.
Saying all these are meaningless right now isn't it ! It's all gone. Haiz...

I've made few achievements throughout this 3 years of missing from this blog.
I'll report more later on! I figured since technology had evolved into my life, my generation. I shall make good use of it. Let me try document down as much as possible. I want to lead an interesting life, and not grow old forgetting what I've achieved, what i've done, what I went through.

Guess what! I've decided to document all what i've written down in this blog and record safekeep all of them! I'll show them to my kids in the future :)

Today I share this quote with all of you all with love and passion out there.
其实每个陷入爱的人都是天生的诗人,都会说一些傻傻的话.

Always Open!

2007-08-04T18:11:00.000+10:00

Not an open-shut case ... Colin O'Connor was a little confused by this bank's opening hours during his stay in Scotland. According to its sign, it's a bank that's "always open" but, in fact, almost always closed.

HeartAche

2007-08-04T18:08:00.000+10:00

A dedicated team of engineers removing the carcass of a dead humpback whale from the shore at Hillarys Boat Harbour, near Perth.

New Link

2007-03-19T16:42:00.000+10:00

New external link updated. For easy convenient self reference.

In midst of many things..

2007-03-12T02:43:00.000+10:00

I want to sleep... but i can't..
There are just so much things left undone..
I fear to sleep... everynight i struggled to sleep..

This insomnia has been tormenting me for past few months...
When will it end?

Soon.. soon.. i hope..

I really do hope...

what lies ahead of me is undetermined...

Now i fear for that day to come...

Yes that day will eventually come... Rather then to avoid it, why not prepare myself to face it?

Question faced here is, how do i prepare myself for it?

I have never gone through it before, none of the people i know went through it the same way too... It is different for different personnels...

Perhaps i should go for counselling...

Let me search for few related ones...

In Control

2007-03-08T00:55:00.001+10:00

If we are wise, we must learn to bow to the inevitable and cultivate indifference to circumstances outside our control. - Zeno of Citium in 3BC.

We cannot always control our circumstances, but we can control how we react to those circumstances. - Epictetus (AD55-135)

Quoted from mindyourbody, page 16, March 7, 2007.

ME?

2007-03-06T01:51:00.000+10:00

It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes two years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.
Globalization processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to posses a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x quantity of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.

The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive earlyat the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, either the second orthird. One morning I asked, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think? Imagine my face.

Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe name Slow Food. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business Week.

Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry" and "craziness" generated by globalization, fueled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the "quality of being". French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity been driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth the US's attention, pupils of the fast and the "do it now!".

This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means reestablishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living.

It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do. It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit.

Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious about living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in what each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".

Congratulations for reading till the end of this message. There are many who will have stopped in the middle so as not to waste time in this globalized world.

It's woman job

2007-03-05T05:24:00.001+10:00

It's woman job
Originally uploaded by ahyang.

One day, i was mopping, and this is what happen. I broke the mop. Hmmm, it seems that it is still woman's job after all eh? No no, i guess i lack the experience... haha!

I just love this photo

2007-03-05T05:22:00.001+10:00

My beautiful posture
Originally uploaded by ahyang.

This will be her photo that will be kept for her lifetime. It is just so beautiful!

Sisters!

2007-03-05T05:18:00.000+10:00

This is just so funny!!!

Too much to say, lazy to type.

Let photos do the job :P

Any Kind Souls out there???

2007-03-01T06:58:00.000+10:00

Anybody? to buy me this for my this year birthday gift?

Hehe... The contact numbers are listed there as well! hahaha

Cuff Links

2007-02-23T16:53:00.001+10:00

Cuff Links
Originally uploaded by ahyang.

This will come good for this Lunar New Year! Big Money! Big Money! Win Big Money!

Happy Chinese New Year to ALL

2007-02-20T08:19:00.000+10:00

Gong Xi Fa Cai to ALL

Gambling lesson:
Through gambling, it has helped me to learn more.
There are various types of gamblers.
There are individual gamblers' mentality.

Is gambling for fun? Or is it out to kill someone? Or to stress someone?
You decide.

From this CNY lesson, it enhances my memory...
How?
Avoid playing with people of different perceptions towards gambling.

I shall stop here. This is enough to provoke people :P

As i believe, this world is created by fair opportunities with different mix of human beings.

You have your way of thinking, i will form my way of thinking as well.
There is never a general point of view.
You can be on 49%, but you may never reach 50% in balancing scale.

Hmmm...

Happy New Year to ALL ! Wish you all HAD A GOOD BREAK from EVERYTHING!

Uplate

2007-02-14T06:49:00.000+10:00

The Wide Look
Originally uploaded by ahyang.

Been so busy recently.. Yes, i am also looking up for jobs. This incident happened 3 weeks ago. Well, i only managed to find time now to blog this up. It indeed is an effort to keep your blog updated :P

Yes...

2007-01-24T15:12:00.000+10:00

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potentthan history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs overexperience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death. - Robert Fulghum, "The Storyteller's Creed"

Crazy deed once again

2006-12-29T18:29:00.000+10:00

Grocery Shopping
Originally uploaded by ahyang.

Yes! I am back to my crazy lifestyle!
Today, i went grocery shopping just to buy a shaver in mind.
And i end up buying this lots! Total to be $90!
Now i know where i spent all my money to...
But i felt so satisfied after 2 hrs of walking alone inside supermarket!

Biggest mistake of all is... I just keep on buying!
That after paying for all of them and started carrying them!
Till then i realise i do not drive, i have to take bus!
Sooo....
I walk home... haha... an idiot i am...
God blessed it was 15mins of walk only...
But it is heavy...

Appreciation Post

2006-12-28T15:18:00.000+10:00

Fly!
Originally uploaded by ahyang.

I would like to thank those people who have helped & supported me to walk till this year 2006.
In no ranking sequence:
1. Darling
2. Jeff
3. Sherwin
4. Delia
5. Mum
6. Sister & Husband & Kids
7. My Mitsubishi Lancer Baby
8. NNT/469 Friends
9. UQ Friends & Classmates
9.1 UQ Ipswich Gang Friends
10. Iris & Joel (too many to write)
11. Jason (too many to write)
12. Hanny (furnitures & mobile phone)
13. Ivan & Karen (for visiting me & meal treats)
14. Brandon (selling me furnitures)
15. Muscle (chatting over optus line)
16. Tabitha (for visiting me)
17. John (too many to write)
18. Eunice Tan, Grace Chew, Darlene, Trina
19. June
20. Sang Boon & Hyun Ju
21. Jun Wei (Dick)
22. Too hun
23. Dave (Chef) & Generous Donations
24. Damon, Indra, Dominic, Ivan, Jinghui, Kelvin Oh,
25. Kelvin, Kevin, Noel, Angela, Kenneth
26. Jayen, Nick, Fei zai, Timmy, Eric, Ah Hao
Too many names to write...I shall just end here...
Pardon me if i did not mention your name in the list... As i am suffering from terrible headache and amnesia which i believe is caused by senility...

Believe me or not

2006-12-22T18:07:00.000+10:00

Shock Shock Shock.
From a place full of white hair, to a place full of black hair.
From the place full of black hair to a place full of dark skin (the 3rd world country).
Now i am back to the place full of fair skin again.

From sparse country to over-populated metropolitan city.
From this city to developing country.
From there and back to this crowded full of black faces country.

Now i am where i was once from. Where i spend 20 over yrs of my life.
Yet, i am still experiencing culture shock.
Believe me or not, you decide.

From driving old rusty car to driving luxury car.
From driving luxury car to now taking public transport.
Yes, i am also experiencing transport shock.

But i promise, with my abilities, i shall overcome all these in no matter of time.

Please do bear with me for this moment of period.

Christmas is coming, yes, everybody knows.
But i do not feel it is coming...

Life has still been busy as ever..

To my loyal viewers,

Here i wish you all, a Merry Christmas.

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

Nonsense and beauty have close connections.
E. M. Forster (1879-1970)

Time Stopped

2006-12-14T18:41:00.000+10:00

For these 2 days...
Doing all this just for you my darling...

Big Sigh!

2006-12-13T00:44:00.000+10:00

Too many things going on lately.

I have absolutely no time to handle.

Just not enough time!

Sigh!

This is good

2006-12-09T00:02:00.000+10:00

Kuuudos to the brilliant smart creator

Is Life a Gift?

2006-12-08T11:09:00.000+10:00

I got this off from email.

Life Is A Gift

Today before you think of saying an unkind word, think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food, think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife, think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion.

Today before you complain about life, think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children, think of someone who desires children but who are barren.

Before you grumble about your dirty house, or about someone who didn't clean or sweep, think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive, think of someone who walks the same distance with
their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job, think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.

Before you think of pointing a finger or condemning another, remember that not one of us is without wrongdoings.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down, put a smile on your face and be thankful you're alive and still around.

Now, tell me, what do you think?

Need money

2006-12-04T16:10:00.000+10:00

Anyone? Pls? Willing to give me $200? Please?

Today, my car breakdown again!!! ARGH!!!

Storm blow into Brissy today... Horrible storm, i couldn't see the road at all...

Can't see the lines marking on the road at all!!! All i can see is lights of car.. not to bump into cars... that's all...

After driving through the storm for 2mins, my car breakdown... My engine just died...

What to do? Sit inside the car & wait for rain to stop. That took me about 15mins sitting in the car doing nothing. Yes, not to forget, embarassing moments.

Why do i need $200? To check, inspect my car & make necessary adjustments. I have to put minimum of $200, any excess can be paid next year!

Shitty car, can't drive in the rain... No Power Steerling, no air-con, Can't climb up steep slopes. Ahhh!!!

Amazing

2006-12-03T19:09:00.000+10:00

I have so much thoughts, but when it comes to writing them down...
They just disappeared...

What do you say abt these thoughts?

Here is something that i need help with regards to.

What is Relationship to you?

I once answered 'Relationship is the path to build, endured, shared among two persons, to blossom it into marriage. After marriage, to create a family.'

The reply to my perception: "WRONG"

I guess i was NAIVE all the while. I AM GULLIBLE.

Can anyone help me out? Please enlighten what Relationship is about?

Haha! I'm a failure... I'm a looser! haha!

11th Dec

2006-12-01T03:27:00.000+10:00

will be a special day for me... I would regard this day as the most gratifying & remarkable day in my life.

One that anyone who have accomplished it would remember it for life.

What i am missing out is this special lady.

This special lady has walked along with me, endured together all the hardships along the way.
I have to say a big 'Thank You' to her.

I wish to use this blog and post to express my gratitude and appreciations to her.

Thank her for everything she has done to me, to create and turn me into this person, who has further contributed more to the society.

Truthfully, 'Thank You'.

I am feeling so sad & disappointed now, as i know she can't be there with me that special day, to commemorate & grace all those jubilant moments together with me.

This extraordinary lady is none other than my darling.

Instant Thoughts

2006-11-30T17:49:00.000+10:00

Colours for Life
Originally uploaded by ahyang.

As i was sitting in the balcony reflecting some thoughts internally.. i notice something strangely... Australia has so many white cars! The number of white cars is so much more to any other colours. We do need a variety of colours in our life too. It is just like life. We need different stimulus & hiccups in life in order to pursue something unique. The reflections of colours into our life. Colours correlates with moods, emotions, feelings, thoughts, affections & prepositions. They are all temporary instant switches into heart and soul factors. It is interesting to notice such little concepts they contrast into humanity.

Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

Quote my life..

2006-11-28T18:59:00.000+10:00

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834)

Marvellous Brekky!

2006-11-27T13:31:00.000+10:00

Perfect Brekky
Originally uploaded by ahyang.

Special dedicated brekky to wonderful person in the world. Great way to start a fresh monday of the week! Cheerios!

Pissed

2006-11-26T02:23:00.000+10:00

Pissed off! why? Sensitive to mention here. Just wanna say, nobody will appreciate your efforts & time put into preparing something good. "Gou yao lu dong ping, bu zhi hao ren xin"

Chat with my chef earlier on. He is 37yrs old.
He is from Ireland. His life?
Travel from ireland, land up in philippines, work as chef. Spent all his money on girls. Broke, he flew to indonesia to work as chef again. Spent all his money on girls and broke, he went to cambodia for work again. No money left, he went to thailand and work again. No money left, he land himself now in australia.
What is he going to do next?
Go to fraser island for holiday, after which, to whitsundays to sail, and off to new zealand to work again.
Do you like his life?

Or would you rather lead another life.
Work, have a family, be attached, be committed to family matters, have a stable career, car, house, own property.

He don't have a car, he rent a place to live in. He does not have valuables at all. He just travels around, bump around, work to get money pay rent, buy ticket, pay for visa, and support his own living in any country he goes to.
Jealous of his life? Better not. God knows how many girls he have slept with. God knows his health condition right now. God knows how much he has for savings. Who is going to take care of him in the future? Has he have savings to take care of himself in the future?
He goes around making new friends, but how many are his true friends?

We are not concerned with the very poor. They are unthinkable, and only to be approached by the statistician or the poet. "E. M. Forster (1879-1970)"

A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.
Alexander Hamilton (1755-1804)

I wonder

2006-11-23T23:32:00.000+10:00

Yeah zoukout 2006 is here again. 9th dec. i wonder who will be going?
definitely not me. How much is the ticket?
This time round is quite good, with costen & lawler & pippi! aldrin as usual...
Hope the ticket price dropped! for the benefit for my friends back in singapore! haha!

Today, i went to 9 houses. guess what. i guess pizza works very well with weed. out of 9 houses i went, 3 houses were smoking weed, and of course they ordered for pizza.
Yesterday there were 2 houses. People here definitely live happily with all these weed. hahaha

I live by quotes

2006-11-23T02:22:00.000+10:00

The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice.
George Eliot (1819-1880)

Purified Mind

2006-11-21T02:43:00.000+10:00

Diminished Spirit
Originally uploaded by ahyang.

I finally seek out resort to purify my mind. Feel fresh and good afterwards. The sun has vacuumed away all the evil thoughts and mindfuls away. Everything is good from now on...

14 - 19 November..

2006-11-19T10:27:00.000+10:00

As you can see, last post was 14th November!
Most recent post was 19th November... so what did i do over past few days?

1. Mount Coot tha/Kangaroo Point/Story Bridge
2. Sunshine Coast/Greenhouse Mountain/Montville/Noosa Heads/Noosa Beach
3. Gold Coast/HarbourTown/Australian Fair/Surfers Paradise
4. Byron Bay/Sky dive over Byron Bay/Town Shopping/Byron Bay Beach/Movie watching
5. SpringBrook National Park
6. Currumbin Beach/Surfing

Total amount spent: AUD$120

(Stay tune for photos)

Is it too little or too much?
I only know all $120 went to petrol & nothing else...
To include food? Perhaps total would be $160... Mostly eat bread :P

Poor student life........... *sigh*

If we don't end war, war will end us.
H.G. Wells (1866-1946)

Weather Craze

2006-11-19T01:49:00.000+10:00

Weather has been really mad over here.
On the same day, forest fire in Victoria, snowing in sydney (reported lowest temperatures recorded since 1970s - with lowest 7 degrees to highest 12 degrees), forest fire in sunshine coast, hail in brisbane. I was neither present at any of the scene.
But i did encountered the impact of this mad weather.
It was breezing cold in Byron Bay at 16 degrees with cold wind blowing.
It does not auspiciously feels like spring nor summer is coming.
It somewhat feels like winter.
Gasps of strong winds were sweeping through east coastal areas like byron bay, gold coast, cancelling all the sky dive plans. It was horribly windy.
Dry, dry and dry weather here, causing my lips to break and bleed. I refuse to apply lip lotions :P thinking i am tough enough to survive through. How true am i to myself?

I wonder....

Yes Photos!

2006-11-14T02:30:00.000+10:00

They have Grown up..
Originally uploaded by ahyang.

Yes it is now back to photography business! Stay tuned , and tune in for more regular updates from now on! I will be updating more photos! More photos to come! More interesting stuffs coming up! yeeeeeeeeeeeee hah!

Transformation

2006-11-14T02:28:00.000+10:00

Study 1
Originally uploaded by ahyang.

From this psycho life, now it is down back to normal usual life!!!

WOOHOO!

2006-11-14T01:39:00.000+10:00

EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!!!!
Waiting for 29th November to decide my fate.
Will i do supplementary paper? or will i proceed on?
Will i even have the chance to do supplementary paper?
I cross my fingers praying hard!

Dying..

2006-11-13T01:26:00.000+10:00

Children... Adults...

NEVER ATTEMPT TO DO THREE KILLER COURSES in ONE SEMESTER.
NEVER ATTEMPT TO challenge yourself to take up 3 highest failure rates courses of Faculty in one semester.

You are driving yourself to dead end.

My friend has referred me to visit psychotherapist. She say it will be good for me.

I am lost.

Update for Update

2006-11-10T16:10:00.000+10:00

I am in middle of exams right now...
Praying hard with fingers crossed to pass all the exams.
Please wish me good luck & all the best.

My friend...

2006-11-07T17:54:00.000+10:00

Thank you those who are curious with my life for visiting my blog.

Today i shall write about my friend instead of myself.

For 4 weeks, he has been suffering from insomnia.
Consecutively, 28 days, 28 nights... he can't sleep without thinking..
He is tired, he is really exhausted...
He thinks till his brain shuts off to sleep... He wakes up finding himself lying on the bed, and he wonders how he fell asleep. Every morning when he wakes up, he always question himself, how did he sleep? Every sleep is such a miserable one. Every wake up is such miserable one too. He wakes up to tell himself, he has to wake up, because he can't afford to sleep anymore. He has so much things ahead to do.
That is how he wakes up.
He did not wake up feeling refresh or feeling that he has slept enough.
He wakes up bcoz there are so much more things for him to do.

He told me...
Everynight, he will lie on the bed from 3am. What he remembers is that, he will open his eyes and see sun rise, when he notice that his room is filled with bright sun light, then his brain finally shut off, letting him to go and sleep. Sun recently rise about 5am. He wakes up! Finding he slept only few hours.
God knows how he can live till today.

Anyway, he fell sick. He finally break down. His immune system, his brain, his body, everything just breaks down.
He has been sleeping for 2days, wake up to think again, and back to sleep after thoughts all stop floating. He told me he is still feeling sick, i ask him, what? He can't answer... He just feels there is something wrong with him..
Today, i saw him cry... Why? I asked him...
His mum & sister called him from overseas, he cried as they told him enormous amount of caring and loving words.
They told him, to spend more money to eat proper food, spend more money at supermarkets to buy sweets, soft drinks, anything that will satisfy his cravings. They told him not to be so thrifty. Money can be earn again. They told him to stop studying and pushing himself so hard. They told him to relax, sit down and enjoy watch tv... or watch a movie..
They told him not to feel so stress... They told him to put everything aside and set his mind at ease.
They know him well i suppose. They even claim that he must be not sleeping well for quite some time, thats why he is suffering from bad long headaches and insufficient amount of sleep.

My friend is sick, and yet he told me, no one bothers to help him, like a simple thing like, buying him food. I pity my friend. I just hope he doesn't gets into a car crash when he gets up feeling giddy, and he has to drive out to go get food for himself.

I pray for my friend to get well soon. I feel sad as i see him suffering so badly.
Did he choose to lead a life like this? Or was he forced to? Did he choose to lead such a loner life? Or was he forced to? What force him to become like this? What are the factors, implications? Would his life change if he would to lead his life differently?

Seriously, if i would to say, from a third person view, his life might be different if...

He has lead himself to terrible tough challenges in life.

As a friend, i can only help him as much as i could, and wish him good luck.

Accepting am i not?

2006-11-04T04:38:00.000+10:00

I am not accepting.. I am not accommodating..
I just can't accept people who don't think on the same league as me..
I can't stand people who think otherwise then me.
I hate people when they do not agree to what i say or what i think.
I treat people nasty hostile when i feel they do not agree to what i say.

Terrible terrible... i guess this is 1 more thing about myself what i need to adjust...

I can't work out if these pple debate on the basis of wanting to clinch the trophy or they argue on basis of expressing their opinion or challenge my thoughts on basis of wanting to feel great about their own perceptions.

I shall assume on the basis that, these people will not influence any part of my life, i shall forgive them.

BUT!!!!

They really annoyed and disturbed my thoughts! I have no idea how these people exists in such world. How can these people be so gullible and naive? How can they think so purely (perfectly?)
Do they really don't know what the world out there is?
Are they living in wonderland?
They might be still living in their black box.

Who knows? Anyone knows?
Technology has evolved significantly, but human's mind analysis has not.

We desperately need a super computer to sense and picture out what human brains think.
We also need a superior computer to distinguish those perfectionists out!!!

*I take out a g** to point at those perfectionists*